I live abroad, and it’s starting to become a problem for my pop culture diet. When I first left the US for Japan, everything was OK. I knew what was on TV (Lost, 24, and a start-up called Glee); I knew what was on the radio (Beyonce, Chris Brown, and the girl Chris Brown beat up before he got to face no consequences and drop another platinum record). But it’s been 3 years of living in Japan now, and I’m starting to lose touch. Television for me is a group of D-rate celebrities trying out mysterious foods, and then being told after the fact what they ate; their reactions are hilarious! My airwaves don’t carry Beyonce, or whatever track lil Wayne whored himself onto this week (every hip hop album released since 2008 has a song on it featuring Lil Wayne and/or Jay-Z. You can fact check that). Instead, I get forty eight fifteen-year-olds singing sugar pop and making out with each other in music videos. And yes, on some level my conscious mind has chosen to ignore, I disapprove too.
Just a few days ago my CNN news ticker popped up and said the Grammys were dominated by British Singer Jabba the Hut** and something named Nicki Minaj’s “nightmare performance.” I had already heard of John Candy**, but I had to look up whatever the hell a Nicki Minaj was. It turns out it’s a bat-shit insane female rapper, who I suspect has razor blades lining her vagina. Anyway, paired with my recent birthday, meaning I’m getting old, my pop-ignorance launched me into a crisis. As we all know, the best way to stay young is to know what the kids are listening to, and I DON’T ANYMORE. So I decided to research something hip, and write about it on the internets to prove I’m still basking in the Spring of youth. I needed something mainstream and big, but also somewhat fringe and cutting edge. That sounds tough, but I basically just needed the musical equivalent of a Hot Topic store. (Intro with light synth beats) Eventually, walled behind message boards and youtube clips, I found my muse. (mute all sound) And her name is….
LITERARY BASS DROP