We’re back after a noticeable, but never explained, absence to talk about the nominees for the Best Picture Oscar year 2015! That means we’re talking about Birdman, we’re talking about American Sniper, Boyhood, and Grand Budapest Hotel; We’re talking about Selma, The Imitation Game, and Whiplash.  Oh, The Theory of Everything makes a cameo, too! Listen, and enjoy.

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Guess What? More Summer movies have come out! John tries to hold onto his sanity as we look deeper into the abyss that is big budget tentpole film.

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Next up on the Summer blockbuster list is…Godzilla! Spoilers are sort of everywhere, but nothing that will ruin your enjoyment of the movie. We discuss the monster, the people, hairpieces, and more! Tune in for a very special guest ambush by– Ellen McLain Lowrie, voice of Glados and Gypsy Danger! She joins us to talk about how this giant monster compares to Pacific Rim’s giant monsters. And also to give Sagramore a heart attack.

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Later,

Sagramore

We’re back, and this time we’re talkin’ bout blockbusters. Not video store chains that closed down, but the Hollywood movie kind. First up are the early birds: Amazing Spider-Man 2 and Captain America: The Winter Soldier. There is one big spoiler, but you’ll be warned in podcast, so don’t worry. Enjoy, but if you have any problems with the podcast, please email any questions/complaints to someone who cares.

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Sagramore

Episode 4 has arrived, fresh off the press! Actor, author, voice actor, and Moonrise Kingdom enthusiast John Patrick Lowrie stops by to discuss what’s really holding Obamacare back from reaching its enrollment targets- not really! We’re discussing Wes Anderson’s new movie, The grand Budapest Hotel! And all in just 15 minutes. It turns out when movies are perfectly decent there’s not too much to say… enjoy, spoiler free.

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Later days,

Sagramore

Time for episode 3! As we’ve said before, author and voice actor John Patrick Lowrie is a space buff, so we’re sticking to the final frontier and discussing more sci-fi. Join us to talk Ender’s Game, in both its book and film incarnations. This is a discussion, not a review. There will be spoilers, and you have been warned. Enjoy!

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Later days,

Sagramore

Time for episode 2! Author and voice actor John Patrick Lowrie is a space buff, so it’s only natural the next stop for our podcast is a critique of Gravity, the new Sandra Bullock in space movie. No spoilers, just a fun discussion/review of the movie. Well, maybe a few spoilers…

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Later days,

Sagramore

The summer of 2013 has been really hit-or-miss for big movies. Star Trek: Into Darkness was pretty great. Furious 6 was crazy fun if you left your brain tied to a parking meter outside the theater. The Wolverine was also a good time, but that might solely attributable to the fact it came on the heels of X-Men Origins: Wolverine, which is one of history’s worst movies. The critical response to all three of the aforementioned movies was mixed. The rest has been flotsam. Man of Steel failed to live up the expectations I arbitrarily set up for it, and Pacific Rim was meh. Iron Man 3 shall not be mentioned on this website. Opening late in the summer season, the Matt Damon vehicle, Elysium, unfortunately, also comes in at the jetsam end of the spectrum.

Neil Blomkamp caught people’s attention with 2009’s District 9. I wasn’t a fan, but I have a steep aversion to body horror. Lots of other people liked it, and Blomkamp was sort of nominated by the cultural aether to become the next great sci-fi auteur. He was even attached to a stillborn Halo project, the debris of which seem to have coalesced into Elysium, a film with plenty of colors and explosions, but little else. The barebones of the plot is that Max, played by Matt Damon, who is a poor factory worker with a ruff-n-tumble past, gets terminal nuclear cancer. He is given an oddly specific 5 day life expectancy. In order to survive, he decides to give himself robot arms and fly to the eponymous Elysium, a giant space ring where rich people live in luxury, hoarding machines that can cure any illness, except apparently cupidity. Wait, I guess that’s not a disease, unlike 5-day nuclear cancer. Damon’s love interest has a daughter who also has cancer. I bet you can figure out the rest.

The first act is a mess. To begin with, text exposition explains that in the future,  rich people live on a floating ring in space, and poor people live on Earth. Right after that, we are presented with a montage of Matt Damon’s youth in LA, explaining poor people live on Earth, and rich people live on a floating ring in space. I don’t know if that’s redundant, or lazy, though I suppose the two aren’t necessarily mutually exclusive. Scene transitions are jarring. We shift from Earth to Elysium, the aforementioned giant space ring, without rhyme or reason. It feels as though Bomkamp was twenty minutes into editing Max’s storyline, and then realized “Oh, s$$t! I’d better introduce the audience to the evil rich people!” And so, the next scene introduces us to Elysium’s secretary of defense, the rich and evil Delacourt, played by Jodie Foster and her unplaceable accent. She works for an Indian president apparently elected by computer A.I. Honestly, I think Blomkamp took the first forty minutes of the movie and just threw the scenes up into the air, and spliced them together in the order in which they fell.

And then we get into the second act, which is just lots of explosions and fire. Working for Delcaourt is Special Agent Kruger, played by Sharlto Copley, who also has robot arms so that he can have cool fights with Matt Damon. Right before their final confrontation at the end, Kruger even gets bigger robot arms, because, you know, that’s how video games work. Bosses get harder. Kruger is bat-s$$t insane, and a very evil man. Why? Because the plot requires him to be, just as the plot requires Delacourt and all the other rich people to be evil.

Which brings us to the film’s biggest weakness. There are no characters. The wealthy on Elysium are greedy and evil by the mere virtue of having money.  The film, thematically,  sort of reminds me of the Justin Timberlake movie In Time, where the villains really do nothing too dastardly except have money. The why would involve plot spoilers, but trust me when I say they are depriving the poor of Earth for no reason at all. Blomkamp just tells the audience “They’re rich and evil; they’re poor and good.” That’s it. We get no insight whatsoever into Delacourt’s background or motives, which is rendered maddening in the conclusion of the film when she makes a decision completely and diametrically opposed to everything we’ve learned about her personality. Again, no spoilers here. Kruger similarly, is just crazy and evil. That’s his state of being. His actions late in the film are unfathomable, and made more unbelievable by the fact he’s kind of successful. Did I mention his accent? He has this weird accent I think must be South African because the actor is from there. It’s like weirdly Dutch, but also almost Australian. I don’t know, it’s the future. None of this matters because he’s just here to have upgrade-able robot arms and duel Mat Damon. 

Visually, the film is a meh. The design of Elysium’s interior elicits images of a sort of space Switzerland, except for the cherry trees inexplicably coating landing platforms. But hey, the cherry blossoms flying all over the place during the final battle had to come from somewhere, right? Oh my God! Did I mention Kruger has a samurai sword? Really, he does. Nothing screams elite space armor commando like medieval weaponry. The giant ring itself, of course, is straight out of Halo. Earth looks like the slums from District 9. At least Blomkamp is honest to his own style…the camerawork is quintessential 2000’s action. Lots of shaky cam, lots of quick zooms. Little attention seems to have been paid to scene composition or framing. Nothing about the film’s score stands out past bland.

Damon isn’t bad in his role; Max is certainly less self-assured and more panicked than a, let’s say, Jason Bourne. Though, inexplicably, he’s a better fighter than a government-trained super agent and his samurai sword. The character just isn’t written well. The same can be said for Jodie Foster as Delacourt. I don’t know what to say about Sharlto Copley, as Kruger is just a mess.

Elysium features lots of bright colors and movement; it mimics good action films on a surface level. But it features a paper-thin plot only superseded by the flatness of the characters. I did not like it, and do not recommend it.

Later days,

Sagramore

Hollywood loves itself, but don’t we all? (love ourselves, not Hollywood) If a movie about me came out, I’d probably fawn all over it. So it’s no surprise critics and film industry people tend to fall head over heels for movies about making movies. If the director happens to be a former wunderkind A-list actor now turned actor-director…well, the stage is set for overhype.  Argo, based on a real CIA operation to extract US foreign service members from Iran in 1980, is of course, about more than just making films, but then again…it’s not. Though nominally based on real events, Argo is a completely formulaic and cliche spy thriller whose manufactured thrills are buffered only by uninspiring movie industry self-referential comic relief.

In December 1979, Iranian revolutionaries stormed the US embassy in Tehran, demanding their deposed Shah be returned to face the people’s justice. Six foreign service members were able to flee the scene, and sought refuge at the personal home of the Canadian ambassador. Trapped in prison with a housemaid and comfortable couches, they waited while the CIA and Canada coordinated a joint operation to extract the Americans. The plan was simple: create a production company working on a sci-fi movie, pretend to film it in Iran, and then sneak out the six Americans as members of the movie crew.

The mastermind of the rescue plan was CIA agent Tony Mendez (Ben Affleck). In real life there was another guy, too, but maybe Matt Damon was busy. We first see him lying in bed with his suit on, Chinese food containers littering the ground of a dirty, unkempt room. We soon learn he is separated from his wife and son because of his all-consuming dedication to work. Never seen that before, am I right? The story is based on real life, so I don’t know…but an unlikely protagonist who’s messy and whose marriage is undermined by work? Come on! I could already see the concluding scene where he reunites with his wife, who takes him back because his job is done and now he wants to focus on what really matters. Does that exact scene actually happen at the end of the movie? No spoilers here.

Mendez comes up with the movie plan, which gets green lit  so he travels to LA, where the next 30 minutes of the film are a string of self-referential movie industry jokes. The audience is bombarded with campy one-liners like “You think the CIA is full of liars, try Burbank!” or “If you think Iran’ll be dangerous, try pitching a movie to MGM!” Really great stuff. Mendez teams up with makeup artists John Chambers (John Goodman) and producer Lester Siegel (Alan Arkin) to create a fake movie production. They pick a sci-fi screenplay called Argo (Gasp! That’s the movie’s title!) and go all out making posters, renting office space, and even hosting a script reading event at a Hollywood area hotel to flesh out the illusion. In a historically mishandled attempt to create gravitas, the reading event scene cuts back and forth between costumed actors mouthing off sci-fi babble and an Iranian press event where a somber woman once again demands the return of the Shah and threatens to try and punish the captured Americans. That’s deep, bro.

And now you have the basic setup. Mendez then travels to Iran, pretending to be part of a Canadian film crew, and he works towards rescuing the Americans. Most of what takes place in Tehran is completely made up for the film. Hollywood has always had a shaky relationship with history, but for some reason I found the blatant revision in Argo particularly distasteful. Granted, this was a CIA, covert operation. I assume even though the information was revealed to the public in the 90’s, some stuff still needs to be kept on the down-low or altered, but the film goes way beyond the call of duty in order to present cheap thrills to its audience. In a key scene late in the film, Iranian soldiers in trucks and police cars chase a jet taking off on a runway, which aside from not having happened at all, isn’t even physically possible. The entire airport escape was synthesized by Affleck to create thrills and tension. I realize Big Film does this all the time, but I couldn’t help but feel cheated. Like discovering your buddy’s Cabo story actually took place in Sarasota, and featured a Hooters waitress instead of three whores and a lion tamer. The end credits juxtapose pictures of the six Americans with the actors who played them, to show how authenticity was important to the filmmakers. It was the only time I laughed during the movie.

Historical accuracy aside, Argo is just an uninspiring production in general. The script feels like everything you’ve seen before. Nothing sounds like it came from an original character or real person. Bryan Cranston plays Mendez’ superior, who answers everything with profanity laden one-liners. But don’t fear! Beneath the gruff exterior lies a heart of gold, and a manager who will do anything for his subordinates. Alan Arkin is great at playing Alan Arkin, as is John Goodman at being John Goodman. Affleck infuses Mendez with so little personality he could pass for one of the robots in the actual fake sci-fi film. But sometimes when things don’t go his way he drinks and stares at walls, so I guess that’s character depth. We also get a scene where a shirtless Affleck gets dressed before going to airport, just to let the audience know he still has a six-pack. We are unfortunately never shown half naked women, but hey, it’s Iran. Everything about the production just stands out as tired and, if anything positive, merely mediocre.

So yes, Argo is about a CIA operation to save Americans in Iran, but only nominally. Affleck throws fact and history to the wind in order to create a by-the-numbers-riveting, Hollywood thriller, filled with all the cliches and puddle-deep thrills that put butts in seats. It seems unfair to the source material. I keep seeing Ben Affleck on talk shows saying things like “The most amazing part is that it’s all real!” Except it isn’t.  In more ways than one, Argo is exactly and only a movie about making movies. Plot elements aside, it is a study in warping history in order to make real events feel more like a film. Unfortunately for the layman, that’s not enough to justify price of admission. The tag line says it all: The mission was real, but the movie was (and is) fake.

Later days,

Sagramore

I won’t lie, I was excited about Dredd from the get-go. Never a huge fan of the 90’s Stallone version or the comic series, my interest was purely based on the trailer, in which it was clear the plot for the new re-imagining was ripped from the superb The Raid: Redemption. I’m not particularly opposed to unoriginality if the original is awesome, and the copy looks good, too. I was all set to love the movie…and it turns out I did. Dredd is a great action flick.

The film immediately introduces MEGA CITY ONE, a future megalopolis of concrete and steel stretching from Boston to Washington D.C.  A harsh sun bears down on limitless asphalt and sprawl engulfing the entire screen. This is dystopia. However, it is not a future without justice, which has evolved into a Draconian  violent  paradigm enforced by the Judges (capitalized). They are an organization of enforcers who stand as judge, jury, executioner, lawyer, and Seal Team 6 member. They posses an entire arsenal of bullets, explosives, gas, and fire bombs all neatly packaged into a really awesome handgun, which we’ll get to in more detail later. The other, little people, seem to exist in a state of only poverty, and live in gigantic apartment complexes called Blocks.

Alex Garland, known for his collaborations with Danny Boyle, penned the script this time around, which focuses the story on the eponymous judge’s siege of an apartment tower run by a drug lord-ess? Whatever the female term is. The result is a much more effective and visceral, without being overly claustrophobic, action romp that quickly wipes away all memories of the Stallone version and it’s epic sci-fi plot. The audience is not burdened with saving the world and clones and future-wild-west-hillbilly-cyborgs. Not to mention ridiculous uniforms. Apparently 90’s costume designers thought future warriors would only need to protect their shoulders and crotch. Back to the topic at hand: Judge Dredd (Karl Urban), while on an evaluation run of rookie Judge Cassandra Anderson (Olivia Thirlby), gets assigned a seemingly mundane triple homicide in the apartment block Peach Trees. The first name Cassandra is thematically important because she’s psychic. While investigating, they discover the complex is run by a drug syndicate headed by the ruthless Mama (Lena Headey), who discovers judges are on her trail, locks down the block, and hell starts breaking loose.

                                           *90’s Logic: Only shoulders and dicks are worth protecting.

I’m going to try and stop comparing Dredd with the 90’s version now, because it’s just a completely better film. Urban does not play a character on screen, but instead a force of nature. We never see him remove his helmet, which is a nice touch. After all, there is no human face beneath the mask. Dredd is a justice machine. When this Judge Dredd proclaims that “he is the law,” it comes off as a literal truth. When the bad guys being to bear down on the heroes, he does not panic, call off the rookie’s evaluation, or try to escape. Instead, he decides to go after Mama to dole out justice, while continuing to administer tests to the younger Judge Anderson. Judge Dredd is methodical, in command, and never unsure. The correct path is clear to him, because it’s written down in a legal rule book. There is crime, thus is must be punished. End of story.

                                              *2000’s Logic: Full body armor might be OK

Anderson is also an interesting character in her own right, surprisingly. She’s new to the beat, but by no means stupid or incompetent. Without giving away plot points, she comes up big towards the end, refusing to let Judge Dredd hog up all the heroic spotlight. How post-modern! Mama is…well…she’s just mean. But I guess Headey is good in that sense. Honestly, her Cersei lannister is a scarier antagonist. But not all fictional characters are created equal.

Hey, but where’s the action?! It’s here, and it’s glorious. Who knew tripods and steady tracking shots could make intelligible, yet still frenetic and fast-paced action scenes? You wouldn’t know it from recent Hollywood flicks, where Jason Bourne and James Bond MMA grapple ambiguously ethnic bad guys while the camera flails around on a bungee cord. The film uses surprisingly little CGI, for a sci-fi outing, and the action seems to progress with real weight and density. This film stands out as especially violent. I don’t mean conceptually. There’s no animal rape or forced abortions. I mean visually. When someone is shot, we don’t just see them brush off a small red stain and keep going. Bullets shred flesh, fire burns for real, and extreme heights disassemble the entire human apparatus. Much of the movie involves a drug called SLO-MO, which slows down the perception of time for the user, even if he is being shot or, say, thrown off a skyscraper. The Judge’s handgun is a thing of excessively violent beauty. It comes equipped with bullets, anti-armor rounds, explosives, fire things etc. They’re also DNA locked to their owners, which I think is a good idea to implement even in the present. Get on it, science! Anyway, I hope by the time future gun manufacturers invent these bad boys the 2nd amendment will let us buy them.

I also want to make quick mention of Paul Leonard-Morgan’s score, which fits the movie beautifully. The techno-industrial soundtrack ramps up action and chase scenes perfectly, and get the audience pumped. The production as a whole, though able and convincing, can’t quite hide it’s relatively low budget. The Judges’ motorcycles look like they were built with cardboard in half an afternoon. Luckily, the micro-focus of the plot lends itself to a small-ish production, and the result is undoubtedly a quality product.

Dredd is unfortunately not without its flaws, most of which are plot related. We see baffling signs of humanity from Judge Dredd towards the end of the film, which I choose to assume were strong-armed in by producers. I’m also confused as to why criminals wouldn’t generally be aware judges’ guns are DNA locked to their owners…Finally, the film is about 15 minutes too long, but there are worse crimes. Dredd is a great action romp, and you should see it.

 Later days,

Sagramore

 P.S- If you haven’t seen The Raid: Redemption, you should. Here’s a clip.